Can we never talk about overcompensating again?
You know what I mean, right?
Where some guy rolls up in a convertible with a very elaborate hairdo and we think it's okay to make jokes about his penis size.
"Look at that ridiculous car. Hehehehe. He must be overcompensating for something."
"Hehe. You know, small penis syndrome."
Oh no, we get it.
We really totally get what you're talking about. But it's not funny. It wouldn't be funny to say that a woman who rolls up in a fancy car is compensating for having a large vagina, so why is it funny to say about a man?
Why has the male genitalia become such a completely acceptable target for our derision.
And if the guy does have small junk, well whose the asshole now? Not him. Us. We are. Because we're making fun of a medical condition.
Microphallus i.e. micro penis is a birth defect.
Or a genetic mutation. It happens when the fetus doesn't get enough testosterone or if there's a mutation in the gene SRD5A2.
Having a micro penis or even having a small penis isn't really a joke.
It doesn't make a person better or worse as a human. It probably causes them a lot of emotional pain. And frankly what someone's packing in their pants isn't exactly your business unless you're planning on unpacking it personally and getting down. And you're definitely not making the world a better more equitable place for all of us when you bring up penis size casually as if it IS a joke.
But in our culture it seems to be allowed as a jokey insult.
But do any of us actually feel happy, comfortable, at peace, when we're talking about another person's sex organs as if we have the right to do so? Do we have the right to even do so? Is that a right? Or is it some fucked up entitlement shit?
When it comes to women saying shitty things about men, there might be an issue of oppression entitlement.
You know, you've heard so many hurtful comments said about, towards, against women, that you feel entitled to make them yourself, but against men. You feel angry, tired, irritated, and you don't see the point in being nice, or decent, or respectful. Because if your team isn't going to be given the respect it deserves then why the hell should the other team?
Except that someone has to be the bigger person.
Like when your relationship is failing.
If you're both waiting for the other person to step up and do better, then you're on the HOV lane towards divorce. You can't wait for the person you love to do better. YOU have to do better.
And that means, that as women, we have to do better.
We don't get a free pass when we open our mouths and start spewing hate speech.
Hundreds of years of oppression didn't buy us a get out jail for free card. And I would really really really love it if men started rejecting the stereotypes and biases and sexist bullshit that gets laid on them from the moment they leap out of the womb with the greatest of intentions, only to discover that their world is only slightly more hospitable than Mars.
I guess if you were a man you could say that when a woman makes penis-size comments that's a micro aggression.
It's used to shame and belittle one man, but in fact it is an aggression against all men. Because if you're just standing around minding your own business and some woman starts talking about penis size and you happen to not have a big one then where does that leave you?
Feeling uncomfortable. Feeling not good enough. Feeling a sense of shame that you now need to escape.
And even if you happen to be well endowed, are you feeling comfortable with someone making sexist comments about the people of your gender? Or does it just wash over you?
I don't know.
Maybe you've gotten to a point where you're so good at shoving your feelings down that it doesn't register. But it's not nothing.
It's part of a larger issue.
You know, where we expect men to have no discernible feelings and yet to be sensitive to the myriad of emotions that a woman might have. We want men to be tough-it-out soldiers who can take anything, and then we wonder why a young boy shoots a bunch of people in his school.
We wonder why rape is an issue. We wonder why violence is an issue. We wonder why most political interactions seem like a bunch of school-yard bullies jostling for the front spot at the lunch line.
At some point, some of us have to call a truce, and just say no to ALL discrimination.
It's going to be hard, at first.
We're going to stumble along for a while. Still making stupid comments. Still being mildly or greatly offensive. Still wondering why we feel shitty at the end of the day. But we will get there. If the greater goal is to make everyone feel safe and included, then trying and failing is worth it.
And I do mean EVERYONE.
We don't get to pick and choose inclusion.
That, my friends, is not inclusion.
It's 100% difficult.
And 0% fun.
It's way more fun to call Trump a dickhead then to use your words to accurately describe the behaviour he takes that you disagree with.
It's way more fun to say that a man is probably overcompensating then it is to unpack the reasons why their alpha swagger makes you feel uncomfortable.
But nobody ever said that working to make the world a better place would be fun.
Important, yes. Difficult, yes. Worthwhile, yes. But fun? Oh hell no!