Fresh Starts

I built my first website in 2010.

The memory is faint, but I can still recall the unbelievable realization that I could take something out of my brain and stick it on the internet.

And so, a digital obsession was born.

I’m not sure how many websites I’ve made since then. I’ve built some for clients and some for myself. Many of the sites I’ve built are still up to this day, 8+ years old (which is FOR-EVER in the digital world) and counting. While others never even went live.

So, what’s the point of creating THIS website?

Who the HELL am I writing this for?

And WHY?

I’m not really sure. I just have this feeling that I want to write. Often. In public. For fun. Without fear. Or at least, without TOO much fear.

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In May of 2022, I lost my voice for a few months.

There was a lettuce incident which I’ll write about at a later date. It was one of the weirdest, most uncomfortable experiences of my life—and that’s saying a lot since I’ve done a lot of weird and uncomfortable things!

But losing my voice and then slowly getting it back over the course of a few months made me remember how much I love to create, learn and share.

The political and social climate of the past three years has felt stifling. I have a lot of controversial opinions on what’s been going on. I don’t agree with most people in my life about the “truth” of where we are, where we’ve been, and where we’re going.

But I’ve also realized that I DO NOT thrive in a politically charged environment. I have zero interest in trying to change people’s minds about controversial topics. If somebody doesn’t want to spend 500 hours doing research and just wants to read the headlines and believe it…well, fine.

That’s okay!

The most useful takeaway I’ve gotten from the past three-plus years of world drama is this: we’re all on our own journey. Mine is not yours. And yours is not mine. And there’s no sense judging people when you don’t actually know what the hell they’re going through.

When you feel judged, it’s hard to create.

But when you’re judging others, it’s impossible to create.

Judgement is perhaps the most deadly poison to creativity.

As I started to try to heal my voice, I had to do my best to let go of both guilt and judgment. The two seem to go hand in hand. As I let go of judgment, the guilt seemed to fade away. As I stopped listening to the hysterical online voices, I stopped worrying so much about what others might think about me, and I stopped putting people into tiny concrete boxes.

So back to this blog and what I hope to do with it.

Again, I’m not entirely sure.

But I think I need a fresh creative start. A place where I can write about ALL the ridiculous things I like to learn about, try, experiment with and then throw out. And a place where I can express myself without judgment.

This will not be a political blog. I won’t be doling out social commentary.

I hope to simply document the things I’m trying out and share them with you. Maybe some of it will be useful. To someone. Somewhere.

In the past 20+ years, I’ve done SO MANY experiments on myself, and I kind of wish that I’d documented these weird short-lived (and occasionally long-lasting) obsessions. But I guess the time wasn’t right.

Now it is.

My voice is back.

And I’m ready to share it.

-Colette Nichol-